Typical Sabre fan opening up todays Buffalo News.

(In break room, local Sabre fan opens up todays Buffalo News and sees this article about Tom Golisano)

Sabre Fan: Wait, WHAT? 5 million dollars for political candidates. What about free agents? He could have used that on BROOKS ORPIK!

Coworker: Well he does have other interests and its an interesting idea.

Sabre Fan: BROOKS ORPIK!!!!

Coworker: Well he's not worth that much anyway, the trade for Rivet made much more sense.

Sabre Fan: They could have had Brian Campbell for 5 million dollars! 5 for 25!!!!!

Coworker: Well thats what the agent offered, you don't just agree to what ever an agent asks, thats not good business.

Sabre Fan: You're not good business.

Coworker: (Looks puzzled) I better at the job then you are, so your statement is wrong.

Sabre Fan: Whatever, this is proof that Golisano is cheap and doesn't care about the Sabres. He'd rather spend it on this crap. Might as well throw it down the drain. Brooks Oprik would have been awesome.

Coworker: Actually this is probably a better use of his money, since it can bring in change to Albany. Where change is really needed. Brooks Orpik probably wouldn't be that much more of an impact then Craig Rivet will be on the defense. Plus you get a guy under a good contract for several years. Its good business.

Sabre Fan: (Getting angry at use of logic) What do you know, you probably don't even know hockey. I was on the Wheatfield Blades as a kid.

Coworker: Really, I was on the Amherst Knights, then St Joes, then played a little at college. I wasn't very good, so I had to focus on my career.

Sabre Fan: Whatcha you play, Left out (giggles to himself)

Coworker: I was a center actually.

Sabre Fan: ANYWAY, its obvious that Mr Moneybags, rather spend it on some crappy politicians then make the Sabres a cup winner. Its just a business to him. If I owned the Sabres they would be awesome. I'd have all these great players, like Drury, Briere and Campbell. We'd win the cup every year.

Coworker: How would fit them all under the cap?

Sabre Fan: 5 for 25 dummy.

Coworker: You'd have like 11 players.

Sabre Fan: We'd be so awesome thats all we would need.

Coworker: I hope to God, you never run this company.

Sabre Fan: Don't even get me started on what I would do to improve this dump.

(Coworker gets up and goes back to work)

Sabre Fan: WHAT! Jason Smith signed with the Sens. We totally should have signed him too. He's only 5 million for 2 years. What is Darcy doing. Darcy totally sucks. Screw this, I can't read this anymore.

(Sabre Fan crumples up newspaper, throws it away and goes back to work)

James Hardy wants to teach Thruway Man something

James Hardy heard about Thruway mans ordeal and thought he'd help him out getting out of some trouble. As Mr Hardy, seems to be good at it, even though he pulls guns on people.

The Hardy Boy: Hey Thruway dude!

190 Roadblock: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!

The Hardy Boy: James Hardy, Bills new #1 threat

190 Roadblock: I thought Toronto was the #1 threat.

The Hardy Boy: Haha, thats a good one white dude, but seriously. You are in a ton of trouble and I want to help you out. Since I'm good at getting out of these silly gun things.

190 Roadblock: How are you going to help me? I think I'm pretty much in deep water here.

The Hardy Boy: First its all trumped up because of the Media, they are always out to get you. They made you a spectacle and got them ratings. You should get paid, since your a star now.

190 Roadblock: I would rather just go home.

The Hardy Boy: Home? You stupid. First make your money then have the charges dropped.

190 Roadblock: I don't think thats gonna happen. I'm probably gonna go to jail.

The Hardy Boy: Jail! You ain't going to jail. You're white and old. Anyway who'd you pull the gun on?

190 Roadblock: Myself, look at the tape.

The Hardy Boy: YOURSELF? I pulled a gun on my dad and nothing happened, errr I mean nothing happened. Hell they got shit on you. So what if you held up the highway. You were concerned about the environment and the all the money spent on oil and made a message. Unless people stop depending on foreign oil, you'd kill yourself.

190 Roadblock: I worked at Gm, I don't believe any of that. And your pissing me off kid. I served in the Military, I worked my ass off at Powertrain, you play a stupid game and trying to help me? You know nothing.

(James Hardy pulls out gun and points at Thruway man)

The Hardy Boy: Listen! I'm James Hardy I scored tons of touchdowns at Indiana. INDIANA! I was just trying to help you, but looks like you want the Man to put you away.

Officer: HEY Put that gun down!

The Hardy Boy: What gun? Whatchu talkin bout officer, theres no gun here. Just James Hardy #81 for the Bills.

Officer: Oh yeah, I got great hopes for you, would you sign this for me. Man I could have sworn you had a gun on that dirtbag over there.

The Hardy Boy: They always think that, who should I sign this to?

190 Roadblock: Well I guess no one cares about a Vet anymore. No wonder I'm so angry. While this guy can play football and get away with anything.

Inside the San Jose Locker Room

(We take you into the San Jose Locker room as they get ready to play the Stars in Game 5)

Ron Wilson: Ok fellas, we're down 3-1, at home and I like how we played in game 4. If we put that together again, we'll come out of here and we'll be right back into this series. Am I right?

(mild yeah! comes from the room)

Ron Wilson: That is pathetic. Come on guys this is the playoffs, are backs are against the wall. MY JOB IS ON THE LINE! Don't you wanna win for old Ronnie here?

(Guys stare at each other not knowing what to say)

Ron Wilson: Unbelievable, after all I do for you guys and you can't support me. Thornton what about you, you are our leader what do you have to say?

(Joe Thornton vanishes into thin air)

Ron Wilson: Typical Thornton, disappears when the pressures on. Hey Marleau. What about you, you got anything to say.

(Marleau starts to cry, because the tone is too strong)

Ron Wilson: Campbell, you've been here the the shortest, you haven't built up any animosity so what do you feel about the situation.

(Campbell spins around, sits down, and shrugs shoulders)

Ron Wilson: What the hell was that? Why did you do that twirl?

Campbell: Thats just what I do. And its a spin o rama, not a twirl. Girls twirl, Soupy spins.

Ron Wilson: (puts head in hands and sighs) Nabby?

Nabokov: I stop puck.

Ron Wilson: I know that but your .894 Sv% suggests otherwise.

Nabokov: Can't see puck as well with whirling dervish over there.

Ron Wilson: Ok, thats enough. Guys just follow the plan and we will win tonight. Stay with your man, give 110%, and we'll come back and win this series, but it starts tonight. So go out there and kick some ass!!!!

(Team meanders out of the locker room)

Ron Wilson: I'm so fired.