An attempt to be humorous and logical about the Buffalo Sports Scene.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Perry Fewell: Its a wonderful Christmas Carol

Perry Fewell (talking softly to himself) Ok ok, time to practice to get ready for those pesky Atlanta Falcons. A tough team, that is struggling on the year, hey just like us. Oh man so many new people, good thing I have a roster on me. Otherwise I wouldn't know who is out here.

(Brian Brohm goes back to pass and falls down)

Perry Fewell: Shake it off Brian, you'll get the hang of things.

(Gibran Hamdan practices his sack position)

Perry Fewell: Gibran Keep your head up.

Perry Fewell: Alex what does the gameplan look like for Atlanta?

Alex Van Pelt: Coach, its a um, good?

Perry Fewell: Did you come up with any plays or gameplan?

Alex Van Pelt: Whats the point? We're playing Brohm or Hamdan at QB. We could have Bill Walsh's playbook and still be awful.

Perry Fewell: We still are playing, every game matters. This is our profession and we have to show some professionalism. Perry Fewell doesn't quit, neither should Alex Van Pelt.

Alex Van Pelt: Ok, I'll draw up some 2 yard out passes.

Perry Fewell: That's the spirit.

(Marshawn Lynch moves around the backfield, before being stopped for a 2 yard gain)

Perry Fewell: Keep it up Marshawn, find that hole.

(Brohm throws 2 yard pass to Nelson, who drops it)

Perry Fewell: Eyes on the Ball Shawn, Eyes on the ball.

(Owens lazily runs route, knowing he'll never get thrown the ball)

Perry Fewell: Terrell gotta go full speed all the time.

(Offensive line miss all their blocks)

Perry Fewell: Know your man, O line, Know your man.

(Donte Whitner misjudges an angle and Fred Jackson scores a td)

Perry Fewell: Good job Freddie, Donte, watch your angles.

(checks watch)

Perry Fewell: Ok guys, Practice is over, go watch some film and hit the weight room.

(waits till everybody is gone)


Perry Fewell: Calm down Perry, only two more games, and you'll be let go and go somewhere else. Fresh start.

(whooshing noise)

Perry Fewell: Who opened the doors?

Ghost of football Christmas Past: Perry Perry Do you remember how it use to be?

Perry Fewell: Who is that? WHO'S TALKING?

Ghost: Its me Rod Dowhower your former Head Coach at Vanderbilt.

Perry Fewell: Hey coach long time no see.

Ghost: Do you remember how bad it was at Vanderbilt? When we could barely win a game?

Perry: Oh yeah, those kids weren't even division 1 Talent.

Ghost: Now look where you are a head coach in the NFL. Things aren't that bad. You're on the upswing Perry. Everything will get better. But in case you doubt it, you'll be visited by two more ghosts.

Perry: Coach, you're right, I'm just letting struggles get to me. Coach? Coach?

Ghost of Christmas Present: Perry, Its me Coach.

Perry: Coach Jauron? How are you haven't seen you since, um Uh.

Ghost: Since I was relinqueshed of my duties.

Perry: Yeah, that how are things?

Ghost: Lets take a peek of last Sunday.

(mysteriously peer into the Jauron household last sunday)

Announcer: The Bills have it and its 3rd and 20 from the 50 yard line. The snap and its a 3 yard pass, that is stopped right away.

Jauron: (claps) Thats the right call, can't risk Turnovers, thats how you lose in this league. (Talking to no one) Punt it and stop em.

Perry: You approve of that?That stuff drives me insane. Just throw it, they pick it, they pick it.

Jauron: Thats why Brett Favre struggles.


Jauron: Because of the talent around him.

Perry: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Get me out of here.


(Wakes up back on practice field)

Perry: Oh man that was scary.

Ghost of Christmas Future: Perry, Perry

Perry: Tony Dungy?

Ghost: Yes, I love what you do and you are what I need in a defensive coordinator when I come back to coaching.

Perry: Wow! Thanks! When is that?

Ghost: Not sure. But I can build a winner with you.

Perry: Thats awesome, it rewards me for this crapfest.

Ghost: Gotta go, gotta prep for my arguments with Rodney Harrison.

Perry: Working with Tony Dungy? A winner? Life is wonderful.


Jairus Byrd: Coach, Coach are you okay?

Perry: Oh I'm fine, just had a great dream.

Byrd: On the field?

Perry: Yep, why don't you go inside and wish Everyone a Merry Christmas for me.

Byrd: Ok coach.

Perry: Oh and Jairus! You had a great year, just go home, we'll put you on IR. Get yourself fixed up.

Byrd: Really!

Perry: Yeah, no more from you. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

(Byrd Skips back to the locker room)

(a bell rings)

Perry: Ahhh, everytime a Bell rings a Bill goes on injured reserve.

(fade out to a snow falling over Ralph Wilson stadium)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Pat Kane comes to down

(last night downtown on Chippewa)

Pat Kane: Oh man its cold out, but doesn't stop the Kanester from hitting the Strip.

Jon Toews: Maybe we should just head back to the Hotel, its late and cold. And we got a game tomorrow.

Pat Kane: TOEWSER! I thought you were my bro? If I thought you'd weak out, I'd bring my cousins. But they can't come out anymore, because my Aunt doesn't want them in trouble. We're Kanes we rule this City.

Jon Toews: Ok, I'll hang out, whats the worse that can happen?

(Cab comes down Delaware sees Kane and crashes into tree)

Pat Kane: Stupid Cab driver, they can't drive even though its their job. And they are worse at counting money. AMIRITE?

Duncan Keith: Don't get it.

Jon Toews: I don't know if thats funny.

Pat Kane: You guys gotta lighten up. We all got paid. Know we gotta live. Because thats all our money. We made it.

Duncan Keith: We still have to play up to the contract, otherwise we don't justify the money nor the committment to the Chicago Blackhawks.

Pat Kane looks at Keith like he just said the stupiest thing on the planet.

Jon Toews: Duncan is right, we should be professionals.

Pat Kane: Back in South Buffalo, professionals would get liquored up every night. And still be great at the Job.

Duncan Keith: I'm going back so I can be ready for the Sabres. Especially that Tim Connolly. He's crafty.

Pat Kane: Tim Connolly? He couldn't stick handle his way out of a nursery rhyme.

Jon Toews: What does that mean?

Pat Kane: Think about it, it makes sense.

(Duncan Keith leaves)

Pat Kane: See you tomorrow Duncan Hines!

Jon Toews: I'm kinda hungry.

Pat Kane: Lets hit up Jim's Steakout. Its the best ever.

(enter Jim's Steakout)

Pat Kane: OH man, Chicken Finger Sub, my favorite. Nobody makes them like they do in Buffalo. Its hot, spicy and chickeny.

Jon Toews: Probably should get something healthy. Well I can splurge. Turkey Hoagie sounds good.

Pat Kane: Good choice Toewser.

Person in front, pays for food, and puts Dollar in Tip Jar.

Cashier: Everybody Thank You

Employees: THANK YOU!

Jon Toews: Do they do that everytime you tip?

Pat Kane: Yeah, its their thing, I think its dumb.

Pat orders and pays, puts 20 cents in tip jar. Nobody says anything. Kane gets a furious look on his face.


Cashier: Didn't see it sorry.

Kane reaches over counter and punches Cashier.

Pat Kane: DID YOU SEE THAT! UH! I'm PAT KANE! I'm a Buffalo Legend!

Jon Toews: Pat what are you doing?

Pat Kane: This is the South Buffalo way. No disrespect.

(cashier calls cops)

Pat Kane: Hey wheres my sub?

Employee: Sir you have to leave. You can't assault us, because no one saw you tip. Especially a lousy 20 cents.

(Pat Kane punches other employee)

Pat Kane: You people don't deserve any tip. (reaches in to get 20 cents back)

(Cops roll up)

Officer Jones: Oh no, not you again Kane.

Pat Kane: This whole town is out to get me, no one likes people who succeed.

(Kane is put in cop car, while Toews call team officials)

Jon Toews: Why do I hang out with this guy?

Monday, November 23, 2009

Survivor: Offensive Line Edition

Well the offensive continues to struggle and lose players at an alarming rate. Which brings up the question, is there a secret game show going on. Because we might have a winner of Buffalo Bills Survivor very soon.

Brad Butler
Eric Wood
Seth McKinney

All are out for the rest of the season. Two opening day starters gone. Demetrius Bell has been hurt for several weeks with a knee injury, and his return is necessary. Jonathan Scott finally came back after dealing with the death of his father. So leaving the starting line of, if Bell comes back, Bell, Levrite, Hangartner, Meredith? and Scott. Not what you call a pro bowl line. Or a UFL line.

If Bell can't come back? Oh man I don't know whats going to happen, but I sure wouldn't want to be Fitzpatrick next week. I assume they will either sign someone or call up the 2 lineman from the Practice squad. Well I guess they will have to do both.

The team has two running backs, with 1 fullback. Have gone through tight ends like water. The linebackers are now filled with safeties. The team has a glut of WR's and DB's. But it all doesn't matter. The team is gonna get cleaned up come January.

But with 6 weeks to go we have two guys left. To claim the title of Survivor.

Will it be the Rookie Levitre or the old man Hangartner.

Whats the prize? A job next year.

Monday, November 16, 2009

If the Bills were a tv show...

It would have been cancelled already. Even if they were on NBC.

Its bad, its not even funny bad, but like face slap bad. So bad you want to slap yourself for watching it. Like VH1 reality show bad. Even those shows have some kind of entertainment to it. Show Bills games to Jihadists and they will renounce Islam.

How have they won 3 games? Minor miracle? Charity case? This team is just plain awful and the whole thing needs to be overhauled. No doubt about it now. The quarterbacks need to go. Lynch can leave I don't care, Fred Jackson and another guy to share the load will be perfectly adequate. Most of the Receivers can stay. I think with a decent to average QB, they could flourish.

The defense is in rough shape. They need a new scheme. Thank god they don't play a 3-4 or they would be in worse shape. I don't mind the corners, they finally have a ball hawking safety. They can get rid of Donte Whitner, they only thing he can catch is a taser. Bryan Scott is fine, but he's dime a dozen.

The Kicker and Punter are the only thing to be happy about. Seriously, Brian Moorman or Rian Lindell, maybe the MVP of the decade. Thats how sad things are at 1 Bills Drive. Its a good thing we love football or there would be 20,000 in the stands. Or we love people who can kick the football.

If this were a real Tv show, there would be new writers brought in or new cast assembled. We wouldn't wait to the end of the season to rework things. Whats the point? It's not gonna get better. The only way a tv show gets better or tries, is when people stop watching. So I think we as concerned Bills fans, put away the irrational fear of the team moving, and put our power into action. Lets just stop watching.

Give the tickets away to opposing fans, with Patriots, Dolphins and Colts left, plenty of fans left for that. Imagine 40,000 Patriot fans in the stands. Hell I'd go to the Colts game and root for them. Turn off the TV and do something else around town. See a movie, watch other football games, go play Xbox. Anything else but turn on CBS at 1pm on Sundays.

The Bills are always concerned with Marketing, and if Russ Brandon sees the product is lacking, maybe, hopefully, he'll see the whole thing needs to be blown up. In fact it needs to be blown up today. Not January, not February. But now.

Unfortuntely, the Buffalo Bills are not a TV show, but a Business. So they will go through the motions and find the most cost effective way to change things, but yet be able to sell tickets and make money in 2010.

Ugh. Looks like I'll have to find ways to avoid games on Sundays.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Bisons in National TV Ad

I saw this the other day while just watching TV. Normally I wouldn't notice the small details. But first I was like Hey! That's a Bisons hat. Then HEY! He's got Buffalo on the Jersey. Then HEY!!! That's not Coca Cola Field. But still it got me a little excited, that our local baseball team was selected for this National Ad for a major company.

Sure it wasn't filmed here, and with non local actors, but still cool to see. I thought they usually make up teams for these kind of ads.

I wonder of all teams why they chose the Bisons? It could be interesting to see why? Have the Bisons tried to push ad agencies and maybe movies to use their uniforms and name to promote their product in a way. Because its the outside the box thinking that would impress me. Or is it a local connection and they called the Bisons.

Anyway, I thought it was cool and for those that don't pay attention to ads, to maybe find out about. Since its something you wouldn't know till you saw it.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Time to dust off the blog

I know I haven't written much of late, but its been busy and I just haven't felt the urge to put anything down. But the urge is changing. No I don't feel like writing game day previews or what not. Die by the Blade and the Gooses Roost have that covered. I just want to do my own thing, try to be funny, write about my feelings on local sports, or just put down a silly picture.

I feel the peek of the Buffalo blog scene has faded. There are plenty of good ones around, but the amount and contribution has gone down, in my opinion. I also have gone down from like 3 posts a day to like 1 post a month. Yes I got married and went on a honeymoon, but production was weak even before all that. Now things have settled down and life feels like normal again. Yes I'm married, but it feels the same as it was 6 months ago.

Which is a interesting feeling. Because being a Bills fan, feels exactly the same this year as it does last year. Same kind of despair and apathy. The feeling of things aren't gonna get better, ever. As like last year, I feel I'd rather go out and rake leaves or go to the Zoo, then watch the Bills play like crap and bore the hell out of me.

Lucky I am a married man now, and have better interests then the Bills. My wife is like you can watch the game if you like. It's a nice gesture, but if she was like go rake the front lawn. I'd be like, sure. What about the back?

Its something to ponder over the next few months and years as my personal life develops. Things have changed from watching Bills games at a bar, and Sabres games in my small apartment. Well the same feeling exists, the situation just changed.

Monday, October 26, 2009

While I was in Hawaii for 3 weeks

I got married on October 3rd 2009.

My wife and I then left right away for our Honeymoon in Hawaii.

I got back on Saturday night. Sunday was a recovery day. And now I'm back at work, trying to catch up on things that I missed. Being 6 hours away kinda screws you up. You have TV and are kinda of in touch with things. But not really, since Hawaii is like being in a foreign Country.

Football is easy to follow there is only one game a week and its major news. So I knew the Bills kinda sucked while I was away, but not how much since I didn't watch any games and only saw highlights of the Jets game. I didn't really miss watching the Bills play, they aren't fun to watch and even though I was home yesterday, I didn't really care to watch that much.

From this mornings radio, the guys seemed rather down on Trent Edwards. And acceptance that the Bills will go 7-9 again. They all seemed too depressed and I turned off the radio. Being in a sunny place for 3 weeks, makes you realize how trivial football is, and whether they win or lose, it doesn't matter. There are bigger things to worry about. Like when do you go to the beach.

But I was wondering about the Sabres, since I got married on the Home opener, I really had zero clue if they were good or not. The Dan Paille trade surprised me, but I was lobbying to get rid of him anyway, but on Sunday when I saw they were 6-1-1, I was like wow. A nice start.

Tyler Myers has 5 points and a +8. I can't see him going down now. It would be a waste. He'll only get better with more playing time. The injuries to Sekera and Lydman helped him stay up here. (I'm assuming) With Tallinder a +9, could make someone a possible trade bait, the Sabres are back in that position where they can make trades, since I think they are below people's radar. And Darcy knows its make it or break it this year.

Clarke MacArthur with 4 goals is nice to see, I'm a heavy critic of is his up and down play, but if he can play evenly through the year, hes a possible 30 goal scorer and thats nothing to sneeze at.

We all know why this team is winning.

Ryan Miller

6-0-1 with a 1.69 GAA and a .940 Sv %. Looks like someone wants to start for Team USA this year. The shootout on Saturday, he was solid. But of course he has to stay healthy. They can't just ride him into the ground and expect to be great. Lalime needs time to play to be effective. He's not a cold goalie.

I'm back now, so I should be in touch with things. On the other hand, I didn't really miss anything and didn't care about who won or lost. Being in paradise on your honeymoon, makes sports rather minor. And if you are too wrapped up in a sports team, just ship yourself to Hawaii for 2 to 3 weeks and you'll be better for it.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The interesting year of Jonathan Stupar

Taken from the Bills website

With Derek Schouman ending up on the shelf, Mr Stupar will finally make his way on the team, again. He was deactivated week 1. Cut, and signed back to the practice squad, to make room for Derek Fine (the other Derek, who also constantly hurts himself) So assuming he stays healthy, which is a big assumption with Bills Tight Ends. He should be playing every week.

Why am I so interesting in Mr Stupar? Well we share a first name, we Jonathans have to stick together. And guys on the fringe always interest me, because their life must be absolute nightmares. Now he gets to relax and play a game I'm assuming he loves. Before cutting cut to let Derek Schouman back on the team next year.

Lets go back to the beginning

He was signed as a undrafted free agent out of Virginia by the Evil empire, the New England Patriots. Of course not seeing the talent that was there, released him and with most New England castoffs, the Bills picked him up. (like they did this year with Tyson Devree) But he stuck with the practice squad getting on the 53 man roster on November 28th 2008, not suiting up, but still a game check. You gotta get in the door somehow.

Then the offseason. With the release of Robert Royal, I'm sure he saw the opportunity. Then they drafted Shawn Nelson. The door shut again. He would have to prove himself, that he was worth a roster spot. That was when the Summer of Stupar happened.

Look at this stats from the preseason.

5 games 19 catches 184 yards and 1 td.

He was Gibran Hamdan's go to guy. Terrell Owens wishes he had those numbers.

But what happened?

9/5/2009 Waived

Where's the respect?

9/6/2009 Signed to the Practice Squad

Ok, thats a paycheck

9/14/2009 Signed to the 53 man roster

AWESOME show those Patriots who is boss!

9/16/2009 Waived


9/17/2009 signed to the practice squad

I need the money, so I'll do it

9/22/2009 Signed to the 53 man roster


We are now entering the Stupar era, the new Pete Metzelaars, or not. Sure Shawn Nelson might get all the balls. But who will be there to block for Fred Jackson? Stupar. Who will catch those 2 yard safety valve passes? Stupar. Who will get Bills fans to go, Who is 88? Stupar.

Anything else I need to know about my favorite new player, who I will root for for no real reason, other then I want to.

(checks wikipedia page)

Stupar is the nephew of former NFL quarterback Jeff Hostetler,

Of course he is. Thanks that name doesn't bring me misery.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Moral victories are for losers.

James McCoy

Not again, another Monday night collapse. How? WHY? Did they forget how long the games were? Sure Leodis hurt the team. But the same play for two straight touchdowns? Who is covering the tight end? Ellison? Scott? Whitner? Ugh.

But no matter how many times it happens, it hurts all the same. You wanna throw something, yell at the tv. And want to give up your fan hood. But come Sunday, we'll all be back at 4pm to see them play the Bucs.

I guess you can take some positives from the game. The offense wasn't terrible. Fred Jackson is awesome, like usual. The interior line, was pretty decent. Bell will learn, hopefully quickly. I thought McKelvin was turned around by Moss and Brady all night. The defensive line got some pressure. Schobel is back.

Again they can't keep a lead against a good team. Just find ways to lose. They aren't going to be good until they can close one out against a good team. The Denver and San Diego games are good examples of that.

Moral victory? Of course not. That is one of the stupidest terms ever. There are no moral victories. You lost, and then you try to put the positive on the loss. Its one way to make you feel better. Players that cry after losses and just don't want to talk about it, probably have the right mindset. If it didn't effect you, quit. The game should upset you. You blew it. I blame the defense more then the offense. They shouldn't have let the Pats, roll down there on the first touchdown. Maybe Leodis should have fallen down at the 30 taken that kick back. There are so many what ifs. But they lost, you move on, and try to make up for it later in the year, beating the Pats at home.

Lets look at some numbers.

Tom Brady

39 for 53 378 Yards and 2 Td's and Int.

Lots of yards, but not the gaudy TD's he usually has against the Bills. Shaky at first, but was getting better in the 4th quarter.

Trent Edwards

15 for 25 212 yards and 2 td's

A pretty average Trent Edwards day. He'll give you some things, and then frustrate you the next. I think the Pats were taking away the deep stuff, so they worked the short stuff, to some success.

New England Rb's

22 carries for 64 yards. And 1 td. Thats between 3 guys. New England abandoned the run way before they were down by 11. The Pats are going to be a pass first team, and teams will have to make them run to beat them. They are still underutilize Maroney. I think hes a talent, they are just wasting away.

Bills Rb's

Otherwise known as Fred Jackson, 15 carries for 57 yards. A pretty good outing for Fred, who is dangerous everywhere.

New England recievers

Here's where it gets ugly

Moss 12 catches for 141
Welker 12 catches for93
Watson 6 catches for 77 and 2 Tds
Faulk 6 catches for 51 yards

Moss was always open. They played off to much, didn't challenge many passes, the only INT came from Schobel who made a great play.

Buffalo Recievers

Jackson 5 catches for 83 yards 1 Td
Schouman 3 catches for 41 Yards
Evans 3 catches for 25
Owens 2 catches for 46 yards
Nelson 2 catches for 13 yards 1 Td

Edwards distributed the ball, just not a lot of balls. Jackson was the best weapon all night.

Bills Defense

Ellison had 15 tackles on the night. He knows how to tackle. A lot of the Corners missed some tackles, but a solid tackling night all around.

The DMVP. Would be Schobel, a sack and pick 6. First game back since San Diego and showed why they missed him.

Pats Defense

Leigh Bodden was the leading tackler and Tully Banta Cain had two sacks. But keeping Wilfork quiet was a good job by the interior.

The game still hurts, however there are some promising signs. But there was no moral victory in Foxboro on Monday night. Just another 4th quarter comeback for Tom Brady. Ugh.

Friday, September 4, 2009


Getting ready to gun it.

Finally, the Bills have wised up and gave Turk Schonert the boot. The offense wasn't that great when they were winning, and has been downright awful this preseason. I'm sure they saw practices and knew what was coming.

Alex Van Pelt looks to be the new coordinator and I'm sure we'll find out at 130pm when the always exciting Dick Jauron gives us the news.

I love Alex Van Pelt, I think he's interesting, hes a QB's QB. I have no doubt the Bills will open things up in the passing game with him calling the shots. He broke Marino's records at Pittsburgh, he's a pass first guy. He has nothing to lose, because we expect nothing of him and thats always dangerous.

I wonder if the Hall of Fame Owner, went to Jauron Last night, Its you or Schonert. Like he gave Wade Phillips after the Music City Forward pass, game. And smartly of Jauron, let Turk take the blame. That Yale Degree is paying off now.

If I were AVP I'd bring in Jim Kelly as QB consultant, they are good friends, and just take Trent Edwards by the collar, and tell him, you throw that ball to 83 and 81 and if it gets picked, then trust the Defense to get it back. (who have shown ball hawking skills in the preseason) Trent Edwards needs a kick in the ass, because he can get it done, I've seen it.

But I'm just a fan, and these are my ideas. AVP knows a lot more then whatever I could muster up. This is different from the Bills organization, we all expected the Bills to keep him through the season. For Dick Jauron its also a wake up call, they start slow, he's with Schonert on the Unemployment line.

AVP is now the Bills OC and I'm perfectly fine with that, it was just a matter of time, before he assumed this position. I know expect the Bills to throw it Arena Style.

Did I mention I am also very delusional.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Not going to panic yet

Throw the ball forward please

Oh man I am not going to panic after this week's preseason game. But they looked terrible. Especially on offense. Just boring, nothing exciting and just looked out of place. Trent Edwards has looked very bad 2 weeks in row. Hopefully they are lowering expectations for the Patriots. Unfortunately it maybe that the offense isn't going well and this year could be a horrendous disaster.

I know Owens isn't playing and it gives me a little glimmer of hope. But what will he matter if Trent doesn't throw it farther then 10 yards. He looks like he has zero confidence, and I'd rather have a QB with too much, then too little. The thing is we've seen Trent throw the long passes, he can do it. He has the recievers to help him. Stop making the field small, make it big, more openings that way. Like in Tennis, you don't hit the ball in the same spots. You make em run, make the DB's and LB's run all over the place. With that and the No Huddle, you'll wear out the defense.

Right now the team isn't fun to watch and they don't win. That is the most unacceptable aspect of team you root for. If they are fun to watch and are .500 you are okay with that. Because its entertaining. If they aren't fun, but win. Thats okay to, because everyone loves winning. But, losing and boring? Thats not okay. Turk, Trent lets make things a little exciting. I don't care if you throw 3 picks a game, if you mix that with 5 td passes. Look like the Saints. They're fun.

I just have this sinking feeling that things are going to bad this year. Like new QB, New GM, New Coach in 2010 kinda bad. Right now I'd rather things be really bad, so you can clean house, rather then 7-9 again, because you just don't know what to do there.

I'm not going to panic yet.

But missing 3 weeks in October for my Honeymoon, is looking like I won't be missing much. Hawaii, might not be far enough away to avoid this looming disaster.

Monday, August 10, 2009

You can take the kid out of South Buffalo, but you can't take the South Buffalo out of the kid

Well Buffalo Native Patrick Kane had a fun time in his hometown this weekend. And by fun, I mean a trip to the holding center, and we all know how fun that place is lately.

Looks like the Kane's went all "do you know who I am" on a local cab driver. But to be fair local taxi service is expensive. 12 bucks from Chippewa to Canisius? Are you kidding its like a 5 minute ride. No excuse to allegedly assault a cabbie for 20 cents. From the details I would like to break down how this all happened.

(Chippewa 430am)

James Kane: Oh boy Patty, I drank my face off tonight. We got so many free drinks. People love you.

Patty Kane: Yeah, who doesn't love the PK. We need to get a cab because I couldn't drive to the net, let alone a car. Getting a DWI would be bad for my image, so my agent says. Mug shots don't make for good publicity, whatever, PK does what PK wants.

James Kane: Yeah, you're the man Patty. WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Hey theres a cab, lets get that one.

(flags down cab)

Cabdriver: Hey boys, fun night out? Where you want to go?

Patrick Kane: Oh man I don't want to go home. I still need to party, got anyone you know Jimmy.

James Kane: Well there is this house on Eastwood, that is filled with some girls. And they would love to meet you.

Patrick Kane: Oh yeah, everybody wants a piece of PK. Screw TO, PK is the man in Buffalo.

Cabdriver: Guys where we going, meter is running.

James Kane: Hey this is Patrick Kane you have in your vehicle, when we decide, we'll let you know, so just drive.

(cabdriver starts van, starts driving)

Patrick Kane: Eastwood then?

James Kane: We all know how those Canisius girls are.

Patrick Kane: Yeah I hear they are fine upstanding young ladies.

(both start laughing)

Ed note: Canisius girls are the finest women in all of Buffalo.

James Kane: Oh man I wish you played for the Sabres, we could do this all year long, instead of the Summers.

Patrick Kane: If I played for the Sabres, I wouldn't play in the Playoffs.

James Kane: Oh Man BURRRRRRRRN!

Cabdriver: I think the Sabres have a chance this year.

Patrick Kane: Yeah a chance to suck.

James Kane: Dude, you are so on fire.

Cabdriver: So awesome duo, what house number on Eastwood.

James Kane: I don't know Your momma's house number.

Patrick Kane: OHHHH He got you old man.

Cabdriver: That didn't make any sense.

James Kane: Oh man I am wasted.

Patrick Kane: Me too, now I'm kinda hungry.

Cabdriver: We're here!

James Kane: Can we go to Jim's?

Cabdriver. NO NO NO, its 5am and its closed. I'm not going any farther with you two idiots. Now get out of my cab and its $13.50.

James Kane: Here's $15

Cabdriver: Oh, I don't have 20 cents change.


Cabdriver: No I just dont....

(James Kane Punches him the face. Takes money back)

James Kane: BOOM BITCH, Thats how you roll in the SOBUFF.

(Patrick Kane continues the pummeling)


(They get out of cab, cabbie radios the police)

James Kane: We showed that guy he can't mess with the Kane Boys. We keep it real. We're from the street.

Patrick Kane: Yeah we're super tough. Thats how you are raised in South Buffalo.

(Both see black person and hide behind a park car)

James Kane: That was close, we almost got jacked.

Patrick Kane: Canisius is such a rough area, I don't know how people learn here.

(cops arrive)

Cop: Whats going on?

Cabdriver: These two assaulted me and stole money from me.

Cop: Is this true guys?

Patrick Kane: We stole money? He tried to play off the old "I don't have 20 cents bit" THATS MY MONEY I WORK FOR MY MONEY!

Cop: Don't you have a lot of money?


Cop: Ok we're going downtown. Turn around you're both under arrest.

James Kane: This is harassement. This is bias, you're only arresting us because we're famous.

Cop: This is why I got out of the South Buffalo beat to begin with.

(and scene)

Thats how I think this incident went down. I could be wrong, probably totally wrong, but whatever. These two idiots will get some low level misdemeanor conviction at city court, just like everyone else and pay some fine and get some community service. This won't do anything to Pat Kane's image.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Who else is excited about football?


From the look of the Buffalo Blogosphere Bills football isn't highly anticipated. If I read or see one more post on the Sabres not doing anything, I'm gonna scream. Its August relax. The season doesn't start till Christmas anyway. (Look at the Penguins) I on the other hand am rather excited about the Football Season. I don't know what to expect, but the season shouldn't be a boring one. The Bills play good teams. They open up in prime time. They play the first game of the season. I just can't get enough football. And unfortuntely I have 3 sources to read anything daily on them. The Buffalo News, Inside the Bills by Chris Brown and Buffalo Rumblings. All decent sources. But there are no funny pieces, some insight, and I don't care what training camp player has what number.

I've heard nothing about Kawika rocking the Stache! Nobody cares? Nobody is paying attention? Rather we talk about some signing for Portland by the Sabres. Ugh. Buffalo sports blogging is completely onesided and its onesided to the irrelevant team in the area. The Sabres are fun, but completely plastic and boring. The team is sanitized for public consumption. How can you argue though? They sell tickets, they sell mercandise, and always have people talking, good or bad.

The Bills have some actual characters on the team. Personalities. The Sabres? Maybe Ryan Miller and Paul Gaustad. But everyone else, interchangable parts. Someone speak up. Speak your mind. Maybe theres a corporate culture there, that eliminates that aspect. Sports shouldn't be just business. Its entertainment. Entertain me. Boring and winning is ok, but boring and losing is downright unacceptable. And this town won't accept it for long, before a mass exodus will happen.

The Bills may have a marketing guy in charge, but is that a bad thing. If you had a choice of player, one that has a personality over another boring guy, with the same talent. Who would you choose? I'd choose the guy with the personality. Give me some entertainment with my team. You know why the 90's Bills were fun? Not just because they won, but because they were all big personalities. Guys that want to be the show. Terrell Owens wants to be the show. And the Bills need that guy. Too many of them were, team first guys. Well thats great, but when your too worried about the team, you don't excell for yourself.

The Sabres have way to many of these guys. They need a me first player. A guy that just wants to take over, teammates be damned. I don't know if this area wants the me first guy though? There are a lot of people in this area, that don't care what the athletes think, they should just shut up and do their job. (Just like them) Of course those that shut up and just do their job, don't get anywhere. The ones that speak up and create a stir are the people who are noticible and advance.

I'm sorry for going on a rant. But I'm just tired of the Buffalo blog scene, if I had more time, maybe I'd contribute more. Getting married and working hard takes time. Plus the fact i'll be busy most of October, the Sabres won't mean much to me. I'd rather find out who won on Sunday then if the Sabres won a game on Tuesday in October.

It's August, we're 6 days away from a Bills game. And I couldn't be happier.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Can we stop living in the past please?

I've had about enough with the "bringing back old Sabres" talk. People are like they were good so and so years ago. So we should bring them back. It drives me up a wall. Hey lets bring back Taylor Pyatt, Erik Rasmussen. Why not Phillipe Boucher?

Why can't anyone use any rational thought. Especially about Martin Biron. Talk about a guy we make out to be such a great goaltender. THE GUY SIGNED AS THE 3rd GOALIE ON THE ISLANDERS! Anyone could have had him. The Flyers went with RAY EMERY! If Marty was that good, he would still be the starting goalie on the Sabres. But Ryan Miller was better. So Darcy got rid of him. We need a good backup is the argument. Marty is as good as the defense is in front of him. Bad defense, Bad Biron. They have a backup. A cheaper one. One that is practically the same.

We can't compare stats, because the Sabres and Flyers are two different teams. But in Marty's last year here, the Presidents Trophy winning team these were Marty's stats.

.899 sv % and a 3.04 GAA.

Yes he went 12-4, but guess what they don't have the goal scoring they did then and the defense is worse. There's a reason Darcy didn't sign him. Maybe because he'd get lit up like a Christmas Tree.

I don't care if Marty is a good guy or not, or maybe he had a good locker room influence, one of those overrated intangibles, comfort isn't what the Sabres need, its unpredictability. If Marty was that good, they would have made the playoffs before the Lockout.

The same applies to Jay McKee. Oh my god have we made this man a hall of famer. The man who couldn't stay healthy. Average defensemen who sure blocked shots, but that also led to him missing games. They signed the better version of Mckee in Montador, and yet people clamored for to come back.


He went from a 4 million a year player to a 800k player. Players don't take a paycut unless they have to. If the fans were the General Manager, the Sabres would be drafting John Tavares.

No one in this town can move on. We can't look into the future, or see that other players might be better then we ones we've watched. The "oh I've never heard of him, so he can't be good" type mentality. There is lack of rationality when it comes to Buffalo Sports Fans, more then average. And looking to the past at all times, holds everyone back. We gotta look forward. Looking to the past is comfortable. Its easy, its the known. What I want is the unknown. I want something that could be better. Settling isn't something that we should do or our sports teams.

Signing Marty Biron would be settling. Signing Jay McKee would be playing is safe.

This town plays it safe too often, and its ingrained in our mentality. And I'm tired of it. Stop talking about players that left. They are gone, its over move on. We are the guy who pines for the ex girlfriend and can never see that someone else might be better.

So to everyone Move on already.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Bills got Ripped Off

So someone stole $70,000 from the Buffalo Bills. Nooo, it wasn't Derrick Dockery, his Larceny was in the millions. But a ex administrative assistant to the the Vice President of Marketing and Broadcasting, was charged with Grand Larceny for ripping the Bills off for the 70K.

I can only imagine the boss getting wind of this. You would think at 1 Bills Drive every nickle would be accounted for, Mr Wilson is a Insurance man, and we know insurance people don't like giving away money. She must have been crafty. She was there 10 years, so she knew to take little by little. Unfortunately she got caught. Probably because she left. Or somebody, actually did some actual accounting, and noticed things didn't add up.

This has to be embarrassing for the Bills. Plenty of people have ripped the Bills off in the past. Not like this where you divert payments to yourself. But more in the just weren't good or cheated and the Bills got ripped off.

More People the Erie County DA should look at:

Robert Royal.

Gregg Williams

Frank Wycheck (still a forward pass)

Larry Tripplet

Peerless Price (2nd reincarnation)

Mike Mularkey

Mike Williams

Well there are many others, but there is a statue of limitations to this kind of thing. But many people over the years have basically stolen money from the Buffalo Bills, they just get away with it. But Bonnie Krauss, nuh uh, your going down. And if you pay it back, you avoid jail time. That's nice.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

NHL Christmas Eve

Well Free Agency gets kicked off tomorrow, though today should be busy, with trades and RFA's getting deals, before they can be poached by other clubs with cap space. Though clubs with cap space are the ones that usually don't spend money, aka the Kings. I'm more concerned with the Sabres, so I really don't care what the Kings accomplish this summer. Everyone assumes the team is going to look the same come October, personally I don't believe that. There are going to be some people leaving, and I think a couple new acquisitions. The draft showed me, they are changing the philosophy of the team. Big, strong and talented. The passive skilled forwards aren't getting it done. Thats why they will trade 1 or 2 guys for guys already under contract, they have 10 million in cap space, but of course they won't spend to the cap but it means they will spend some money.

Current UFA's

Max Afinigenov: Gone
Matt Ellis: Gone
Dominic Moore: Gone
Andrew Peters: Probably gone
Teppo Numminen: Probably Gone
Jaroslav Spacek: 50/50 he'll resign

Current RFA's

Patrick Kaleta Cheap Keep
Clarke MacArthur, will stay, hopefully they can trade.
Drew Stafford: Could be a target, wouldn't mind taking the draft picks.
Mark Mancari: Good for Portland
Andrej Sekera: Retain, also potential trade bait.

There are 10 guys who in theory could be off the team. Probably 4 or 5 might leave. It leaves holes on the roster that needs to be filled. And if they make some trades. The Roster could look much different, and its probably what it needs.

Potential Trade Bait

Derek Roy: Probably the Poster Boy for the last two years. Talented, but isn't that 1st line center and seems like a prima donna at times. Trading Derek, maybe to Vancouver or Minnesota, teams that need offense could yield a nice return. He is a 70 point scorer.

Jochen Hecht: A down year and I'm not ready to pull the cord on him yet, since he and Pominville both stunk up the joint last season. But if you can pull in a younger forward at a cheaper rate? Make the Deal.

Drew Stafford: A player that some how doesn't get the slack Hecht gets, yet disappears for games on end, and shows flashes from time to time. He's been pretty up and down since the rookie year. Could bring in a leader in the forward ranks the team needs.

Tallinder/Lydman: I like both, but both are UFA's next year, so this goes in the get something for them before you don't want them back. Haven't been the same since the playoff runs. Lydman much better then Tallinder. Detroit loves Swedes.

Sekera: RFA, young shown signs he's a capable defensemen with some offensive skill. Probably a guy you keep around and hope gets better. Especially for 10/11 when the defensive corp is really young. But could yield you something.

The Sabres aren't going to big free agent players, and probably might sign one or two guys to fill out the roster. But mid July, when the market is more quiet and teams didn't get what they wanted, there is where Darcy will make a move. Its when Derek Roy looks like a nice young center to help you win.

Honestly nobody is untouchable on this team. Darcy and Lindy know this year is it, in fact if the year starts slow, they are probably both gone. They will have a induction of youth, but its also imperative they infuse some quality vet leadership for the newer young guys. And let Pominville play, and not worry about being a leader.

I don't expect anything from the Sabres tomorrow or this week. But it will be fun to see where the other players go, and the gaps and holes left after July 1st is where Darcy will make his move. At least thats what I think.

Friday, June 26, 2009

The NHL Draft is here

Yes I know I've fallen off the planet lately, but thats due to work and planning a wedding. Its amazing when things get busy, how time flies and you havelittle time to do anything. So if you have a real job and you aren't the boss, you will have little time to blog. Get all the blogging done when you can young people. But the NHL draft has come upon us, which means the start of next season. Trades will come down, Free agency will be next week, and Sabre fans will bemoan that Darcy didn't sign any big free agents. Unless the Sabres offered 15 million a year, nobody is coming here. People that live here don't want to hear, that our area is rather unattractive for potential job applicants. So the Sabres have to give something up to get someone. (Some may say thats the better way) Trash for treasure.

I'm not going to try to address what the Sabres need, because its not in the draft. I just hope they pick up a good kid who has a chance to make the team in 3 years. Last years pick, seems to have worked out so far, with him probably pushing to make the roster this year. The Draft itself is such a crapshoot, since you never know if a player will pan out. Its a guess. Some kids just don't have what it takes to make it, or they get injured or lose passion. Some turn out to be great players. For every Ryan Miller theres a Marek Zagrapan. So I'm not going to get excited about any of the picks. Unless one is traded for Henrik Zetterberg. Then I'd get excited for that.

A Part of me hopes Darcy does some trading at the draft. He has some assets. I wouldn't mind the Sabres trading 13, if it was for a solid player that will help right now. They have young talent. Sure they need more forwards, but you can pick up lots of forwards in the draft. Forwards you can draft late. D-men are what you want to get early.

Darcy has to be seriously thinking about trading Jhonas Enroth. He isn't a backup, and you have Miller for several years at a high dollar amount. And there is no doubt hes the Sabres Franchise goaltender. Enroth had a solid year in the AHL, people will give you more then usual for possible great young goaltending. And lots of teams need that. The Sabres could make themselves much better with a couple trades. Darcy knows this year is it, if they don't succeed. This is a one year audition.

So tonight the Sabres will draft a couple young kids, who've we probably not heard of ever. But then we'll put hope on them, as possible saviors of the franchise. Then if they don't turn out, we'll call them busts without ever really seeing them play.

I'm more waiting for the trades I hope that will happen over the next few weeks. Changes must be made. The team isn't good enough, nor fun to root for right now. More grit, more heart and enough of the lazy play. I'm tired of it.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

End of the year, start of the year

As someone who watched pretty much all of the Stanley cup and most of the playoffs. I can tell you the Penguins were quite the impressive team. The Series with the Caps was one for the ages, well minus game 7. But the best part of it, was never did I think, that the Sabres were far behind the Penguins in talent. Their goaltender isn't better then Miller. They have two superstars, a decent defense, and some bangers. The Penguins are not a team I would go, well here is a new dynasty. The Red Wings always seem different to me. They have a style, find players to fit it, and they suceed, even with average goaltending. I think the decrease in the cap will catch up the wings next year or in two years. But they do have some nice young players they can put in, so maybe not. But Lidstrom isn't getting younger and neither is Rafalski, and not all guys are taking a pay cut to play for the Wings. Then theres Ken Holland, who will make sure the Wings will be good.

Anyway congrats to the Penguins, they deserved it and now we can move on.

Because it seems the NHL year is at an end, its not, we are only at the beginning of the 2009-2010 season. The Draft is a week away from Friday. NHL Free agency starts 13 days from now. And all that hope and optimism grows anew. Especially the hope that Darcy Regier trades away a couple trouble spots for players that might give a damn, for say 70 games a year. More Goose, less loose.

I don't see big deals in free agency, thats not Darcy's style. Maybe a signing here or there. But no Bouwmeester. The team isn't far away from doing some damage in the Postseason, I believe that. Good trades are the answer here. And no on Dany Heatley. Other then that opinion, everyone is fair game, and I'll be welcoming of any player onto the roster that can help get the Sabres back in the playoffs. Two years off is enough, I want more playoff hockey I can care about, and not just a casual observer.

I just like the fact I can lift that hockey depression I've had since about Late March, and dream about next season. With Tyler Myers destroying people, and hungry players, grinding it out every shift. Giving Sabre fans guys to like and root for, not lazy players who take days and weeks off. We might see Gerbe and Kennedy. And I like that. Hungry young players, to exchange for the higher paid loafers.

Its a new season, we all hope for the best. Let's hope that it all works out.

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Finale

Tonight is for all the marbles, 82 game regular season and 4 rounds of playoffs, all come down to one game. I'm sure its gonna be hard fought. Detroit has been tough at home. But use all the cliches you want, this one should be good. I hope. Otherwise its a disappointment.

Also tonight signals when the Sabres can actually start doing something about next year. Enough with the other teams lets hear from the Sabres. I want trades, I want new blood. I want to hope for next year, and not fear Hamilton will drain all the fans away and the cash.

But more on that later.

Tonight, enjoy game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. The way it should be every year. A 7 game series.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Tom Golisano and Monica Seles?

This story took me off guard. That Tom Golisano, Billionaire, philanthropist, owner of the Sabres and destroyer of local government, is dating Monica Seles. WHAT? How? One of the true great tennis players of all time and Golisano. No wonder he was nowhere to be found this year with the Sabres. I'd stay away from the hockey to, if I was hanging out with Monica Seles. Especially a women 30 years younger then you.

No wonder he feels like he can do whatever he wants. This women is giving him more confidence then he already had. I guess all those questions why she was there when he gave 10 million to Niagara were answered. (I will never forgive him for that, 10 million to Niagara, might as well throw it over the falls.) And apparently they met at the Winter Classic. Of course they did. Tom, won her over with this line.

"See this (points to the stadium) all my doing. Yeah I'm that good"

But the fact she lives in Florida and he just said he's moving there permanently. Makes the Tax reasons less genuine. Just admit you moved there because of Monica. Its fine, guys will understand, plus you'll pay less taxes. Double bonus, I get it.

Maybe Seles likes the power moves.

Winter Classic
Bill Clinton is my buddy
Giving away millions of dollars
Staging a Coup.

Whats next for Tommy G? The Sabre go get Jay Bouwmeester, and spend to the Cap for a run to the CUP? Probably not, they have a budget. But this guy can dream. But hey who knows what a 60 year old guy will do to impress his 35 year old girlfriend. She likes hockey. Who wouldn't want to be owner of a Stanley cup Champion?

More on this I'm sure in the months ahead.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Finding the Time to Blog.

I haven't had a post since May 20th, not that many people read this blog, its not like I'm letting a huge fan base down. But sometimes you have to concentrate on other things, like work and personal life. Being busy at work should be looked at as a lucky thing these days, with so many struggling. So why ruin it with posting stupid nonsense on the Internet, wasting bloggers precious server space with my drivel.

Really I've come to the conclusion, to be a real successful blogger, you have to be a) It's your job and you can spend hours a day at it. b) good at writing. c) unemployed d) a student e) have no life, life takes you away from the computer and you can't blog.

If you have a 9-5 job, its super hard to blog. You can't have a train of thought going. You write something, then you work, go back, then work. Back and forth, back and forth. For me at least it prevents something good. That and I have poor grammar skills and writing ability,which may also hurt. But I do it for fun, and I hope people enjoy what I write. Getting a link on Puck Daddy this year was a highlight for me.

Some may go, what about when you get home? Well I hardly ever touch my computer at home. I get home feed the dogs, start dinner, and wait for my Fiancee to come home. And I'd go upstairs, but the one dog, tends to make trouble. So I have to stay downstairs and watch some tv. Then when the Fiancee comes home we spend time together. The little we get during the week. Then go to bed. So work is really the one place I can blog.

It's funny, to look back at all the free time I wasted when I was single. Just wasted it. Now, I'm busy a lot. And just constantly doing stuff. And it probably is going to be that way for a while. I'm getting married in less then 4 months, then honeymoon, enjoying married life without wedding plans. Then thinking about kids. Then it will be kids. A couple years ago, I'd waste a Monday night watching tv, by myself and eat some crap food. Now I'm thinking about invitations and when I would like to have children. Sometimes you grow up fast. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Just like when you want to meet someone, the same applies with blogs. If you want something you gotta put yourself out there and damn the consequences. A successful blog takes work, as does a successful relationship. I feel I got one of those down, but maybe the blog isn't as important as I would like to think. Its just fun, like a club sport. But I see many more entries this summer.

We got Bills Mini Camps
The NHL Draft
Free Agency
Training camp
then NFL Hall of Fame.

Hockey seems to have fallen off the map in this town this summer. I guess two losing seasons will lose that fire and passion, but it will be back come September. It will be interesting to see what the Sabres do. The LQ might be under fire from Tommy to make the playoffs and make some money. So he might let Darcy do what does Darcy does best, wheel and deal.

And the ongoing TO story is always fun.

Plenty to talk about and its time to get back on the horse. Give the buffalo sports fan some opinions to read. Hopefully some will enjoy it.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Getting giddy about Tyler Myers

I know the kid is still in Juniors. But the Sabres signed him early. They only recently signed their top pick of 2007, and never do they sign a first rounder this early. (It took forever to sign Brian Campbell and he was a 5th round pick.) He is going to be on the Sabres when they start the year next year. They are losing two starting defenders and might ship Tallinder or Lydman out. The kid is just dominating in Juniors and his team is close to winning the Memorial cup. And he puts up pretty decent numbers. I wouldn't call him a offensive defensemen, but he contributes. Especially during the current playoff run.

This year he's had 9 goals with 42 points and a solid +31, hes gone from a -21 to a +31 in 2 years. And in the playoffs he has 5 goals and 2o points and +13. He doesn't shy away from contact. He'll fight he'll hit. He's an imposing figure. Of course players will be bigger in the NHL. But keeping in Kelowna another year is stupid. He's played 3 years already a 4th year will not do a thing. Bring him up. Play him for the first 10 games. If he's a trainwreck send him back to Juniors. If he's solid like I think he'll be. Keep him around. Look at Chris Butler. Couldn't keep him out of the lineup. The Sabres have solid D Men prospects and might have one of the best young bluelines in the up coming years.

Put this kid with Craig Rivet and he'll be an all star in 3 years. Chris Butler will be better next year. Tallinder and Lydman are on their last legs with the team. Lyman played much better and Henrik might be trade bait come the Draft. Especially if there is a player Darcy likes. Sekera should improve, after a disastrous year. Paetsch is a solid utility man, who can play two way. Mike Weber will come training camp, give it all he can to make the team. After his own terrible 2008-2009. Plus any possible free agent signings they may make. Or retain Teppo or Jaroslav.

Its May and the draft and free agency are weeks away. But it can't hurt to get excited. A new year can only lead to new possibilities. And when you see a possible force in the lineup, you can't help but get excited. If Darcy is left to make a hockey team, he can make a team we'll like. He's done it already. No reason why he can't now.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Buffalo meets Reality (TV)

James McCoy

We all knowTerrell Owens is in town for OTA's. One I'm happy he's here for OTA's, but of course we get the T.O Show for the next week. Which puts us in a weird spot. We love to welcome him with open arms, but now it looks like we're desperate, and unaware of what we have. Like a 10 year old with a Lion Cub. Was the key to the city over the top? You bet. But its politics and it makes good tv. Keys to the city are right up with honorary degrees, in being totally worthless.

But I think all the media coverage, with the addition of a reality show, is bringing out one our biggest fears. Looking bad in front of others. Buffalo always loves showing outsiders a good time and showing off the area. We've taken so many jokes over the year, that it has built up a giant inferiority complex to everyone. So with TO going around his media tour and doing stuff for his show, it just brings up a lot of angst that we'll look stupid or silly and desperate. Its not like we haven't done this before. We welcomed Drew Bledsoe like a conquering hero, that would bring the Bills back to prominince. The Bills like it or not are the identity of Buffalo for the majority of Americans. When the Bills are relevant, so is Buffalo.

Do we forget how many Bills had TV shows during the Glory years? Do any Bills have one now? I know Derrick Dockery had one. Jim Kelly had a show, Thurman Thomas had a show, Cornelius Bennett had a show, Steve Tasker had a show. EVEN STEVE CHRISTIE. We love our Bills, when they are good and make us look good. The Sabres are fun, but the NHL has no American appeal on a large level. Its really why we fear the Bills will leave for Toronto, it makes us minor league. It makes our city somewhat less then others, because we don't have a NFL team. Its kinda stupid, but when we have a NFL team, we feel we are relevant on a national level. And I think that is why all this TO stuff yesterday, bothers people. It exposes us to the Country.

Buffalo usually hides away in our little corner of the world. We enjoy or own stuff, and make fun of all the problems, and thats okay. But when those problems escape the cocoon, we all panic, make excuses and not really fix anything. Just like the Bills need TO to make things uncomfortable and not let average be ok. Maybe the city needs TO to shake us out of our general malaise. Our hope for that savior that never comes or is a false prophet. There is no miracle coming, but if someone can expose us, put the truth out there, maybe we'll start doing something about it. Otherwise, the city and area will languish until nothing is left.

We need to turn from a blue collar town into a white lab coat town. An area that praises achievement and success, and not one that holds people back, because making money isn't "Buffalo". Yes Buffalo has a lot of problems, but they aren't going to be fixed unless they are exposed. Buffalo has a great heart to it. A town that will help out its neighbors in need. Giving to others when people need it. And thats why people will always have a love for their city. But we know things have to change for the area to prosper again, and their is no reason why it can't.

TO might just be a football player, but he will bring a lot of eyes on the area, whether we like it or not, and from the blogs today, we look kinda sad. But Buffalo is desperate for a savior, be it for the football team or the area. We welcome anyone that takes a chance here, and have high hopes, before bitter cynicism creeps in and come August it will with Owens.

I am a optimist who also is a realist. I know the Bills aren't going to get better with just one player, but with hard work and effort they can win. The same applies with the Area. One thing isn't going to save it, not high speed rail, or the Harbor project. But a whole bunch of things and residents working hard to improve things, will help to start a general turnaround or lead to a nice place to live.

Monday, May 18, 2009

T.O Gets the Key to the City.

With the news that Mr Owens will be getting the key to the City today. I thought it be fun to imagine how the ceremony goes.

Scene: Albright Knox Art Gallery on a Sunny but cool day on front steps facing Hoyt Lake.

Mayor Brown: As the mayor of the great City of Buffalo, I today declare it Terrell Owens Day in Buffalo and hand Mr Owens a key to our city.

(polite applause)

Terrell Owens: Thank you Mayor Brown. Thank you to the city of Buffalo for welcoming me with open arms. And I will repay you come this year. When TO brings a championship to Bills fans. This is the perfect place for me to receive this honor, since I am a work of art. (Starts flexing muscles) (Tweets what he's doing)

Thank you again to Mayor Brown, the City of Buffalo and Bills fans everywhere. Get your Chicken wings ready. Because we are gonna put on a show this year.

(Screams of excitement from delusional Bills fans in attendance)

TO: Mmmm, This gallery looks interesting I wonder whats inside. TO loves him some art.

Security Guard: I'm sorry but the Gallery is closed this week, because of cost cutting measures.

TO: But I have the key to the City, and I should be able to get in everywhere.

Security Guard: Mmmm, ok, but don't touch anything.

TO: Don't worry about that, you'll have to worry about the art wanting to touch TO.

Guard laughs, asks for autograph

TO: Mmm interesting works of art. For a gallery in Buffalo, there is a decent collection.

van gogh
Van Gogh


de Kooning
de Koonig

TO: So many classic artists, mixed with contemporary works. TO finds this very fascinating. This would be a great place to have a date on my new Reality show.

TO: Mmm whats this room.

(TO walks into the Mirror Room)

mirror room

TO: OH MY GOSH! This is the greatest work of art ever. A Room full of TOs. I don't know what to say, its so beautiful. (Starts crying)

1 hour later

Security Guard: Mr Owens! Are you okay?

Owens doesn't respond


No response

Scott Berchtold: (comes running) Its okay, its okay. He is just marveling at himself. We went to a carnival and they had those funny mirrors and it was the same thing. Just let him be, and he'll eventually have to Tweet or call somebody.

Security Guard: Oh man thats kinda weird.

Scott Berchtold: Well TO loves him some TO. We're lucky he doesn't go Cory Mcintyre on us.

Security Guard: Oh Man gross.

Scott Berchtold: Its gonna be a long season.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Conference Final Preview

Ahhh, the Conference finals. Always a fun time. And the two matchups aren't two bad. We have a Original 6 matchup and we have two up and down teams out east. Who don't forget to play defense. But before we look ahead, lets look back and see what I predicted.

Boston in 6.

Mmm wrong, and way off. I was surprised how bad the Bruins were at times in the series. The Canes earned that one.

Penquins in 6.

Close just a game off.

Detroit in 6

See above

Vancouver in 7

Ooops, way off here. Chicago was much better then I thought. Players I don't know impressed me and they should give Detroit a run for their money.

So 50% ain't bad. Round 2 is always hard to predict. I'm sure not a bunch of people took the Canes. But whatever, the Canes always surprise you, and Eric Staal actually shows up.

Lets get into round 3.

Pittsburgh versus Carolina

Right away you think Pittsburgh. But Carolina is tough. Cam Ward is playing well and good goaltending can makeup for other mistakes. After getting rid of Washington, I think the Pens are focused and confident. Pittsburgh has a few more playmakers then Carolina and Malkin still hasn't played that great, nor Kunitz. They get one or both of those guys going and this could be a short series. Cam Ward doesn't come every night, but he'll get a win in a 7 game series. I just like Pittsburgh too much right now.

Pens in 6.

Detroit versus Chicago

Here goaltending comes into factor. Brian Campbell has been playing well, getting the puck up the zone and that can really be a big factor against Detroit and the rest of the defense is pretty solid. But they got away with giving up a lot of goals against Vancouver. That isn't going to happen against Detroit, who just got out of a war and Chicago is nowhere as physical as Anaheim. Toews and Kane are playing well. Datysuk struggled, Zetterberg was alright. I know Chicago has the scoring, but can they outscore Detroit? Because the Bulin Wall has some bricks missing. I think its tight, and fun. But Detroit is better.

Detroit in 7.

There you go a rematch of last year. Oooo fun.

Corey Mcintyre likes to show you what he got.

Oh he spent time in Germany that could explain it.

Bills Fullback Corey Mcintyre, um make that former Bills fullback. Was arrested Friday for exposing his sexual organs, which is a charge that sounds as gross as you would expect.

According to the newspaper report, a 59-year-old woman was at home about 8:30 a.m., March 20, when someone knocked at her window. She looked out the window to see a man masturbating, the newspaper reported.

Really a 59 year old woman. Is Corey into GILF's? And how can this be mistaken identity. Its not like people are trying to pin crimes on a journeyman Fullback. But seriously how screwed up do you have to be, to rub one out in front of a 59 year old. And yes we don't know what she looks like. But seriously. I think Florida makes you crazy. I stay away from that place at all costs. Look at all the weird stuff that happens down there.

I wonder if Corey will be at OTA's this week, or the Bills will excuse him. Seriously, whats up with the Bills this offseason. Ko Simpson goes off and thinks hes important, Marshawn gets caught with weed and a gun, Donte gets tasered. And now a fullback gets caught whacking off to a grandma.

Are the Bills are a fictional drama now? Are the Bills the real Playmakers. All we need is a gay Tight end, and the Bills are all set. Wait, that show was filmed in Toronto. Oh no.

Do we root for a fake team?

Friday, May 15, 2009

Avoiding real time.

Well I've been taping the last few games, and having to wait to watch them. And my fiancee wanted to watch them so I said I wouldn't find out the score till she did. So I've been avoiding blogs, newspapers and Tv's in hope of not hearing scores to games till I can watch them the next day. Yesterday was hard, not trying to see what happened in Washington. Boy what a disappointment. But the two games yesterday were not disappointments. Which leads to the topic, can you wait to find out or discuss something anymore?

But in today's age of knowing everything right now and then. It is hard to avoid something you want to find out in your own time. Sure I could have found out the score and then watched the game. Seriously, that is not fun. You know whats coming, and unlike a movie, live events aren't as fun the 2nd time around. Well minus time passing. But after I felt better by avoiding all that info. And you know what? I didn't miss them. I concentrated on other things, you know like work. Its kinda freeing, not worrying about being on top of information. Not worrying if people read your blog. Why not just blog to blog. Let the people come to you. If you have good stuff, then people will read it. And if it isn't that great, how do you make it better? I think having a unique view is one way.

Reading all the blogs, I think influences you in your writing. If you start putting stuff on your own site, that you see on everyone elses, it makes you generic. And there is nothing worse then generic when it comes to blog. Like all those gossip sites, they are all the same. All the political sites are all the same. Same topics, variations on the same views. Why not something completely different and not cheesy. The internet makes fads pass and go with such quickness, that its LOLcat one moment and its keyboard cat the next.

So I think I'll avoid real time from now on, and approach things at my time. Whats the rush? Who cares who's first. I ain't breaking any stories. Just adding my two cents to the already overflowing take a penny jar of opinions. Maybe I should just sit back and wait and form my opinion before expressing it. Just blogging to put up posts shouldn't be the goal. Its not about quanity its quality. Pro Football talk is an example, just useless info all day. I could care less about some DT the Redskins signed. Its just a way to put yourself on the top of blog feeds. Yes if you are making money off it, it makes sense, but otherwise it ruins the quality of the site.

I'll blog when I want to, and about what I want to write. No one will influence me, this is my own and shouldn't have to fall in line with everyone else.

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Buffalo, NY, United States
A Stay at home dad, who has more hot takes then your average stay at home dad.