An attempt to be humorous and logical about the Buffalo Sports Scene.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Its time for Coach em up! With Rick Suhr.

In another year, she won't be able to smile.

Hey there people, Rick Suhr here. You probably know me best as the man who molded Jenn Stuczynski into a champion, only to have her screw up and cost herself the gold medal. You can see me using my technique here. Look at her face, she knows she totally sucked. I just wanted to know that Silver is unacceptable. She could do better. Berate? Thats totally overboard. Condescending is more the tone I was going for. These athletes today, you gotta treat them like children. If you don't scold them or tell them everything they did wrong, they'll just go out there and try to have fun! Fun? This is the Olympics! There is no fun. Look at the Chinese, they are scared to lose. Why do you think they have so many Gold medals? Americans are not concerned with losing. Ohh you won a bronze, congratulations, congratulations? For the 2nd loser? You might as well finish last. Well Rick Suhr here doesn't like it. And would like to show how I would coached up certain athletes at these games.

Mens and Womens 4x100 relay teams

Holy crap where do I start. You both dropped the baton. I teach people how to run with a 10 foot pole stick it in the ground and jump. And you can't pass a 10 inch long stick? You guys are pathetic. Oh it was raining? Big deal, then put some gloves on or something. No excuses. You know the point of relays, but you weren't concentrating. You cost your country hardware and are an embarrassment to the track world. But what you going to do? Theres always London to redeem yourselves.

Lolo Jones

Oh jeez. Have you ever run hurdles before the Olympics, or were you just doing it for fun? You have a commanding lead and clip the last hurdle? Who is your coach. You gotta be mentally tough. You have gold in your sites and you let the main obstacle get in your way. You prepare for every hurdle. Never look past them. What are you going to do? I guess look out for curbs so you don't trip over them. Whatever. You were ahead of everyone. So you know what to do next time.
USA Softball

Its the last game of the Olympic career of Softball and you blow it. You own the sport, its the reason they are getting rid of it. You just beat this team, you should beat them every time. You bring your best for the final. You can't just expect to win. You wore yourselves out early on. Then it wasn't there when you needed it. What are you going to do? Nothing, its out of the Olympics, there is no redemption. Good job. I hope you like the Silver.

Alica Sacramone

Well theres nothing worse then costing your team, a gold medal with your personal screw ups. People do their job and you can't get on a beam, cost America a gold. To those 12 year olds from China. You go to Brown? Probably not good enough for Harvard Eh? I can see why. You knew what you had to do, and you didn't bring it. Then its fitting you get screwed out of a medal, when the Chinese girl lands on her knees. Try something hard. You would have won. But you don't have the mental makeup for pressure situations. What are you going to do? At least you're good looking, you got that going for you.

Well there are many other athletes Rick Suhr could get up to their potential. With my motivational techniques. The more I talk them down, the more I build them up. Its really a genius strategy and it never fails. I'm always a genius, they are always not good enough, and eventually I'll produce a winner. I'm like the Bill Belichick of Track and Field. But I just need my Tom Brady.

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About Me

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Buffalo, NY, United States
A Stay at home dad, who has more hot takes then your average stay at home dad.