An attempt to be humorous and logical about the Buffalo Sports Scene.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The LQ Continues his top to bottom review

The LQ loves the people

(Back in his office, with Starbucks in his hand, the people at Spot gave him a dirty look, so he doesn't go there anymore, now will review the roster to make changes for next year)

The LQ: Whew, I needed a few days off after Friday. Of course my opinion on Lindy Ruff was overruled. I blame Rene Robert.

The LQ: Maureen, did you see that thing on Rene Robert?

Maureen: Yes, he was just voicing his opinion.

The LQ: Opinion? It was an attack piece on yours truly! That is uncalled for. Hey maybe during the summer or when those Dinosaurs come, the 14 hanging in the rafters would mysteriously disappear.

Maureen: You honestly wouldn't take down his number?


Maureen: Ok Mr Quinn I'll get the lawyers, maybe we can bring a defamation suit.

The LQ: You're damn right. Land Developer? I'm way more then that. I'm a minority owner in the Buffalo Sabres. What has Rene Robert ever owned? Um? Nothing! I OWN RENE ROBERT!

(Maureen goes back to writing her blog, FireLarryquinn)

The LQ: Oooooo Kay! On to the players. This will be the most monumental decision in Buffalo Sabres History right here, with my opinion on the players and our course of action.

The LQ: First up, Craig Rivet. The Captain. Scary. Keep on team, don't want tohave to handle getting rid of scary guys.

The LQ: Next Thomas Vanek, too expensive to trade, our best scorer. Plus he's Austrian, those guys are secretly crazy. The LQ doesn't like the secretly crazy guys.

The LQ: Jason Pominville. Nice long deal, good team guy, soft spoken, as scary as a puppy. Thats what I like about a guy if I feel tougher then them. We need more Jason Pominville's

The LQ: Derek Roy. Pretty Boy, a whiner, flashy, a diver. I like him. Works hard enough to look productive and gets paid, but yet not there when you really need him. Keeper.

The LQ: Tim Connolly. The LQ's right hand man. Bar hopping buddy. This guy is invaluable. Plus he produces. If you know what I mean.

The LQ chuckles to himself

The LQ: Jochen Hecht, German. Thats enough, ship him out. No germans. I have to talk to Darcy about that policy.

The LQ: Toni Lydman. Adequate player, nice contract, gets the job done. Good guy in the locker room. Think about trading him.

The LQ: Henrik Tallinder: Bones like breadsticks. Lazy. Makes mistakes. Look to extend.

The LQ: Chris Butler. Mmm nice young kid, played above his level. A solid player. Look to trade him for a player who doesn't want to play here, and demands a trade.

The LQ: Andrej Sekera. Was good last year, struggled this year. RFA. Resign him for a low deal. Then hope he somewhat struggles again, because if he turns out to be good. We will have to make a tough decision on him. Thats not The LQ's strong suit.

The LQ: Jaroslav Spacek: UFA, good production. Solid year. Talks funny. Probably will demand too much, let Jaro go and bring up a cheaper worse player. That plan usually works.

The LQ: Nathan Paetsch. Could serve as Jaro's replacement. Could also be used as another forward's replacement. Nice. Have no opinion or remember him, but he looks valuable.

The LQ: Drew Stafford. Don't like him. Lazy, cocky, has talent and probably "wants what his value is" (eye roll) Let some idiot GM give him an offer sheet and take the picks. Those picks we'll never have to pay, more money for ME!

The LQ: Paul Gaustad. Kind of intense and responsible, a guy I see as a team Captain. And he doesn't require much money, nice. Keep that kid around, plus he's Miller's best friend, wouldn't want to release or trade him and have Miller clinically depressed.

The LQ: Speaking of which Ryan Miller. Backbone of the team. A leader. Good for the community. Vocal. Could be a trouble spot. Make sure to keep all razors locked up, especially if next year goes badly.

(Looks at rest of the roster)

The LQ: Oh my so many players. Um, keep half, get rid of the other half. And replace with callups and UFA's. (wipes brow) whew Done. That was rough. Now I have to go over this with Darcy so he can put this plan in motion.

The LQ: Maureen, set up a meeting with Darcy, I'm done going over the players.

Maureen: Already? Ok I'll set something for later in the week.

The LQ: This week? Oh no. I'm spent for the week, make it next tuesday.

Maureen: OK Penciling it in.

The LQ: Oh my that was a lot of work. I hope we make the playoffs next year, because if we don't I don't ever want to do that again. That was rough.

(Sips coffee and looks out window, wondering how to get back at Rene Robert)

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Buffalo, NY, United States
A Stay at home dad, who has more hot takes then your average stay at home dad.